Broken heart

Shivansh

"I know, Princess Chandrika, that you are the one who has been sending me love letters for the past few months. Your shyness and your downcast eyes—I haven't overlooked a single thing."

"But I am not worthy of you. All the things you deserve in life, I don't have. I am not rejecting you; I am simply not worthy. I cannot give you the love you are entitled to. How do I make you understand this?""I want to take revenge for the humiliation of my family. I want to give a cruel death to that arrogant king who stole my kingdom from me. Because of that king, my father had to come and live in these mountains with his people. It was from here that I began to conquer all of Rajputana so that I could take back my kingdom. I have conquered Rajputana, and now I must go to war. No one knows the outcome of this war. How can I make you mine when I don't know what my own life holds? I don't want to abandon you halfway through this journey, so please hold the hand of someone who can hold it for a lifetime."

"Your Ansh."

This is the first and last time I will send her a letter. I hope she understands and moves on.

"Rana ji, the guests have arrived and wish to meet you," a courtier said.

"Umm... I'll be there in a few moments."

I had the letter sent to her chamber and then went to the hall to meet the guests.

"Look, there are so many princesses here. You must like at least one of them," my best friend Malhar Rao said. He was busy scrutinizing the girls in the entire ceremony.

"Man, can you please talk about something else?" I said, annoyed.

"Look at you, you're getting old because all you think about is work," he retorted. "You're 27 now. I hope I don't become like you."

"Aah, leave me alone. It's all fine here. I'm going back to my chamber," I said, starting to walk away.

"Alright, you go. I'll handle everything," he said with a mischievous smile.

I tried to find her in the entire celebration, but she was nowhere to be seen. I just wanted to see her one last time to know what she had decided. Had she agreed? If she agreed, why does that thought make me feel so bad? I wanted this, didn't I?

I am thinking too much. I shouldn't be emotional. The only things that matter right now are my kingdom and the war. I tried to control my emotions.

"Rana sa, some guests are looking for you," a courtier said.

"Ohhh... my head is hurting." I went back toward the crowd, hoping I would see her somewhere, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"It's such a big celebration. Where were you without a drink?" my uncle said. "You've prepared to drink, haven't you?"

"Yes, of course. Let's go," I said.

"That's more like it!" he said, patting my shoulder and laughing.

"Where are you going? The celebration is incomplete without you!" my cousins said, stopping me.

"No, I don't drink. You all have fun," I said, refusing.

"Just one sip," my uncle said, and forced me to drink a few gulps. "Oh, brother, how can we let you leave?" my cousins said, holding me and forcing me to drink more. Now, I was in no condition to escape these crazy men.

My uncle was laughing and dancing with the dancers. Some of my cousins were playing the drums, and two of them were holding me on either side. Trivikram was also dancing with my uncle. If my aunt sees them dancing like this, they won't even get a chance to regret it.

Chandrika

"Will he look at me today?" I said to myself, looking into the mirror.

"He won't be able to look away," Vishakha said from behind me.

Her words made me smile.

"If it were Queen Mother, she would definitely apply a kohl mark, but it's okay, I'm here. And one mark won't be enough today; we need two." Vishakha said, applying kohl behind my ear.

"Let's go, the ceremony has started, and all the guests have arrived," Vishakha said, putting away the scattered items.

"But why aren't you wearing the lehenga I gave you?" I asked her.

"I... " she tried to say something.

"No excuses. Go, put it on and come back," I said.

"Okay, I'll be right back," she said and went to her room to change.

I went out to the balcony. The moon was out in all its glory; it was a full moon, and the sky shone brightly. I want to express my feelings to him today. Today is such an auspicious day.

A sound of something falling came from inside the room. "What happened?" I said and rushed back in.

"Princess, this mirror... I don't know how it fell," Vishakha said, coming back with her dupatta in her hand.

"It must have fallen because of the wind. It was right on the edge of the table," I said.

"But Princess, a broken mirror is a bad omen," Vishakha said.

"Don't try to scare me; everything will be fine. Today is a very important day for me," I said, trying to reassure myself.

"What is it, Princess?" Vishakha asked.

"I don't know why, but I'm afraid," I told her, sharing my inner turmoil.

"You should go outside and see how much fun everyone is having. Your Rana must also be out there," she said, adjusting her dupatta before leading me outside.

"Yes, let's go. We're already very late," I said, walking toward the door.

"Princess Chandrika ji," a maid called to me from the doorway.

"Yes, we're coming. I'm sure my sister has sent you, right?" I guessed, as we were already very late, and she must have been reminded of us.

"No, Princess," the maid replied.

"Then what is it?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Rana sa sent this for you a while ago," she said, holding out a plate covered with a red cloth.

"Rana sa sent it?" My heart filled with both happiness and surprise.

I quickly took the plate from her hands. "Okay, you may go," I said, giving her a command to leave.

I quickly lifted the red cloth and found a folded letter inside. "He sent me a letter?" I said in disbelief.

"Princess, this must be a reply to your letters," Vishakha said.

"But he doesn't know that I was the one who sent those letters. I have never revealed my identity to anyone."

"Well, open it and read it. Everything will be clear," Vishakha said, quickly taking the letter and placing it in my hands.

I began to read the letter...

"Princess, what did he write? Tell me! Why are tears streaming down your face?" Vishakha asked, shaking my body. She shook me more forcefully, but my body had gone numb, and I couldn't hear anything.

"Princess!" she yelled, shaking me hard. I finally came to my senses. "What happened? Please tell me," Vishakha asked.

But I couldn't say anything; I just started to cry.

"Why are you crying? What did he write?" she asked again, her own eyes filling with tears because of her concern for me.

Finally, I mustered the courage to say a few words. "He... he has written that I should hold someone else's hand."

"What? How could he do that?" Vishakha said, also shocked.

"He said that the purpose of his life is to take revenge for his lost kingdom and his father's humiliation, and that his life might end in this war. He doesn't want to abandon me halfway through this journey, so I should choose someone else," I said, all in one breath. My throat was dry from sobbing.

"Princess, please drink some water," she said, bringing a glass of water to my mouth.

"No... How could he think that? I love him; love is not a game!" I said, pushing the glass away. "If he knew everything, he should have told me in the beginning when it was just an attraction, but now it has turned into love. There is no turning back from the path of love. Why doesn't he understand that? I won't be a thorn in his path. I will walk with him on those thorns and try to lessen his pain," I said, crying in Vishakha's lap.

"Princess, we will talk to Rana sa. You need to calm down," she said, caressing my head.

"Yes, let's go! Let's go and ask him how he dared to misunderstand my love as a mere attraction and insult it. Let's go!" I said, getting up to leave.

"No, Princess, not like this. Your hair is disheveled, your kohl has smeared from your eyes, and your beautiful cheeks have black streaks on them. You can't go anywhere in this condition specially in front of guest," Vishakha said.

"I will go! My condition is because of him, and i will go! After all, he should also know how much I love him and what I can do for him!" I said stubbornly.

"No, Princess, please come here. We'll fix you up immediately," she said, wiping away the smudged kohl and fixing my hair. After tidying up my clothes, she led me to the main hall.

There, she asked everyone about Rana sa, but everyone was busy enjoying themselves. My eyes were filled with tears, and I couldn't see anything clearly. Just then, I heard someone say that Rana sa was in the dance hall with his friends. Vishakha came and told me.

"Princess, Rana sa is in the dance hall with his friends. We'll meet him tomorrow."

"No, i have to meet him now!" I said angrily.

"Princess, please understand. You can't go into a room full of men, and they're probably drinking. He won't be in a state to understand your words right now," she tried to explain.

We returned to my room. I walked toward the balcony.

"Princess, be careful. There's broken glass there!" Vishakha quickly pulled my hand and moved me to the side.

"Vishakha, Mother was right. A broken mirror is a bad omen. From today on, I won't keep any mirrors in my room. I hate glass," I said, looking at the broken pieces with teary eyes.

"Princess, please come and sit on the bed. You are not in your senses right now," she said, resting my head on her lap.

"Vishakha, he doesn't love me. I'll die without him. I'm only his," I cried, hugging her waist.

"Princess, everything will be alright. He's only learned to fight his whole life. He's a fool. Tomorrow, you'll explain everything to him, and he will understand," she said, caressing my head.